Lindsay Lohan to "work" at Ungaro. Are you kidding me?

Has April Fool's come early? Why is Lindsay Lohan, of all half-dressed badly dressed orange people now an artistic advisor for the once-esteemed house of Emanuel Ungaro?

I haven't blogged in a long time, but this news item was just baiting me.

Surely, Lindsay Lohan loves fashion. But she also loves wearing leggings nonstop, and using Twitter as a forum for airing her dirty laundry with sometime girlfriend Sam Ronson.
She is not fashiony. She has ceased to be fashiony for a long, long time. Girlfriend is a hot mess.

Ugh. I feel nauseous. Poor old Esteban Cortazar, he either booted it or quit when this trainwreck came aboard.

My glam life as a mom

I'm a mom now. That's why I haven't blogged in what seems, to me anyway, like a lifetime. I'm sitting here with hair in a lopsided unkempt ponytail in mismatched pyjamas hoping my six-month old, who has commandeered about half of my king-size bed greedily sucking on a pacifier, doesn't wake up. This is glamour, people.

Any new discussion about fashion right now necessitates some mention of the recession, doesn't it? An era of frivolity has passed, and in many ways, I can't say I mourn it.

I'm not sure if this coincides with my new status as a parent, but it seems like everyone can breathe a little now. That latest, greatest purchase you were itching to buy can wait a bit. Those cute shoes, that new jacket beckoning...well, it just seems like good fiscal sense to hold off.

So, in a recession, is fashion dead?

Never.

Classics. Less is more. Work what you already have.

Or just sit around all day in old sweatpants, like moi.

Karlo...you so crazy!

Sometimes I read something so crazy it makes me cackle out loud, using my cackle-laugh, not my giggling or somewhat-amused laugh. The cackle laugh is ugly.

I will not pretend to have dug up this little nugget myself...I found it on the (in my opinion) bestest gossip blog around, laineygossip.com, that is. These little diamonds are outta the mouth of none other than Karl Lagerfeld himself, in an interview tih the Sunday Times:

“They sent a private jet. I said, ‘It’s too small. I need a bigger plane.’ It’s fun, no?”

“I buy my shoes a size too small. I like the way it feels.”

“I have no problem with journalists – many are friends. Only if they are really stupid, or if they’ve got bad breath, or if they smell. Yesterday [after the Chanel couture show] I had a problem. I said, ‘I’m sorry, you’ve got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.’ ”

"I don’t need meetings. I’m only interested in my own opinion anyway."

Gems! Gems! These are all gems!

He buys his shoes small cause he likes the way it feels. It's so masochistic, so insane, so, so, so...Karl!

I worship Karl Lagerfeld, he is too brilliant for words.

Christian Bale in Armani PLUS his hot wheels

Scottie N. sent this image to my inbox this morning (a huge thank you for that!). How did he know I was scouring the internet yesterday for quite such a thing?

All I have to say about it is:

OMG. OMG. Oh. My. God.

Words. Words. I have no words.

I need to sit and be quiet for a while.

Christian Bale in Armani

I'm so excited! The sublime Christian Bale is decked out in hand-tailored Giorgio Armani gear in the latest Batman flick, due out this weekend.

Just for the record, I will faithfully battle the weekend summer blockbuster crowds and line up to see this movie, 6 months pregnant and all, because I want to see him in his Armani suits.

And I don't even give a rat's fanny about Batman.

Would write more, friends, but my mind is too addled with thoughts of Christian Bale dressed to the nines as billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne.

Hubba!!!!

From here to maternity

Imagine wearing this crazy getup during your pregnancy? I don't flippin think so.

Thank heavens the floaty silhouette is in this summer, or else I'd be up fatso creek without a paddle.

I am "in the family way" (isn't that the dumbest expression ever?) and let me tell you, finding cute clothes that fit isn't so easy.

Sure, you hear that it's easy, and in theory, you think, why yes, I can be a fashionable pregnant lady.

Um, no you can't.

Because:
1) Maternity pants fall down and make your ass look saggy
2) You can't wear really flat shoes or really high heels. In fact, experts recommend a two-inch broad-soled shoe. Right. Did you read that? Have you even seen a pair of shoes that match that description other than in an old-lady shoe shop?
3) All those well-shod pregnant celebrities are buying clothes at boutiques you can't possibly afford
4) Gap is closing down it's maternity sections in Canada. So you're stuck with Old Navy instead. I can wear Gap, I can't wear Old Navy. You can try. More power to you.

Luckily I'm still able to fit some of my sundresses and blouses from last summer, and the few things I did buy at regular stores are billlowy.

Is this the world's cheapest dress?

This dress costs $8.98 at Steve & Barry's, the chain store that Sarah Jessica Parker designed her line "Bitten" for.

I read this story yesterday in the New York Times. How do Steve & Barry's do it? Nothing in the store costs more than $9, and we're talking jeans and shoes here, peeps.

I once bought a dress from Canadian discount clothes retailer Joe Fresh, regular retail price, $12. It had dainty working covered buttons on the side, adjustable spaghetti straps, and a considerable amount of pintucking below the bust. While I was paying for it, the dress boggled my mind. How could it only be $12? I decided it must be a loss-leader....like those sale-type items that stores promote just to get folks in the door, even though they don't make any profit, they get you buying other incidental goodies at full price.

But perhaps not. Steve & Barry's owners (it's a private company) say that they have slim margins and do everything budget-style, and use cheap labour (no kidding on that one).

SJP wore this dress out recently.

But the question is, should you?